Feel like you’re banging your head against the wall?

Have you ever woken up after a long period of time only to realize that you’ve been in a rut?  You’re in a  hideous feedback loop of doing the same thing over and over and over again?  If you haven’t….you might want to reexamine your self and your life, because this is something that most of us do.  As most of my intellectual readers know…..Einstein said that “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.  If you say to yourself, “every time I ask the kids to do the chores they don’t do them” or “Every time I say something my wife (or husband) she/he gets mad at me”  or “Every time I order at a restaurant they get the order wrong.”  For now I am not going to talk about the REASONS these things keep happening in your life as much as I am going to talk about the fact that they do happen.

My current favorite author (Martha Beck) says that sometimes in order to change we have to go through “The ring of fire”.  The ring of fire is any trial or tribulation that we’d rather live without…..but sometimes (or most of the time) when we experience something dramatic we come out on the other side of the trauma (or the other side of the “new experience”) with a new perspective or a new plan for our life.  If you find yourself stuck in a feedback loop in life, try doing something totally different…something you’ve never done before or haven’t done for a very long time.  If you are a mild-mannered house wife, take a trip by yourself to Paris.  If you’re a scientist or doctor….learn to paint.  If you’re a “dare-devil”, learn to meditate.  If you’re a graphic designer, read a book about quantum physics (I’d highly recommend “The Dancing Wu Li Masters” by Gary Zukav).

It doesn’t matter WHAT you do, but just DO SOMETHING that’s the opposite of what you normally do….something that’s not necessarily comfortable for you to do.  Do something to break yourself out of your shell of security and procrastination.  By the way….I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out, I’m just telling you about things that I’ve discovered along the way that I think have value to us as human beings.  You CAN change your life.  You CAN fulfill your dreams; and by the way, to do that you have to HAVE some dreams to begin with….if you’ve tossed your long forgotten dreams off to the side of an old dirt road, pull the car over and make up some new ones.  Start by thinking back on the things that fascinated you most when you were little.  Did you spend long hours outside staring at leaves & trees?  Did you get excited just thinking about your next tennis lesson?  Did you suck at all your classes EXCEPT creative writing?  Each of us has something (at least one thing but maybe more) that we’re good at…and those things are your first clue to the question “what SHOULD I be doing?”  If you’re stuck in a rut the likeliness is it’s not a rut where you’re doing the thing you love most in the world….rather it’s a rut made up of life’s responsibilities and other pressures that you have had to do at the expense of the things you were BORN to do.  To get out of the rut….dream up some new dreams, make sure they’re in line with what you love most (aka your “Gifts” or your “Destiny) and then start doing that thing….even if you can only do that thing one time a month.  Break out of the life you’re currently stuck in by taking just one little step in the direction of your destiny (aka God’s plan for you) and don’t get overwhelmed by the fact that 99.9% of the people, that you know and love think you’re crazy for even THINKING of doing those things.  That doesn’t matter (as long as you’re not hurting other people by seeking your destiny).  Just do SOMETHING….anything that helps you to break out of the rut you’re in and changes abruptly (and sometimes painfully) the direction you’re going.  You’ll come out of that depression you’re in or shake off that gloomy feeling you’ve been living with too long and at the same time all those chronic diseases that you’ve got that your doctors can’t even properly diagnose will start to disappear one by one.  Living your life free of the shackles of being in a rut and moving in the direction that jives with your destiny is the best way to start on the path to happiness.