How the people that bug us the most, can help us.

How the people that bug us the most, can help us.

jungThere is something to this saying from Jung that “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”   

My sister and I had an argument once….and in the middle of this knock down drag out screaming fest I realized that all the things I was saying about her, were the exact same things she was saying about me.  20 years later I haven’t stopped thinking about that moment in time – what it meant and what it said about who and what I am.

As difficult as it is – if this same thing ever happens to you –  stop and ask yourself if the things this other person is saying about you are true. Ask yourself who this other person is and if they have any reason to lie to you or to hurt you.

I’m not saying that it’s 100% for sure that the things they’re saying will be true, but I am saying that they COULD be true and no one is going to help you to come to this revelation besides yourself.

Do yourself a favor and start by being honest with yourself.  It’s funny but that’s one of the hardest things in the world to do – to see yourself as you really are.  Have you ever noticed how the heavier person doesn’t see themselves as quite that fat or the person with heavy-duty wrinkles thinks they look great for their age?  Have you ever noticed how different you look when you look in the mirror vs. how you look in a snap shot?  It is hard to be realistic about ourselves and of course it’s always easier to criticize someone else OTHER than ourselves.

Take this opportunity to try to see yourself through your loved ones eyes….make sure that person really does love you and isn’t suffering from their own delusions of perception, but if you know them and trust them, you should consider if their criticisms of you are true.

Don’t beat yourself up over it…..just try to see yourself for who you really are.  Then if you don’t like what and who you see, CHANGE.  Don’t listen to that BS that people say “you can’t teach and old dog new tricks.”  That is pure doggie doo doo.  You can do and be whoever and whatever you want to be.

Start by being honest with yourself.  Don’t get depressed by what and who you see….just take strength and joy from knowing that you can do and be whoever you want to be.